Sometimes, it is not easy to excavate something inside us and show it to the people around us even the one we love. What do you feel when your secret was told to the people around you by the one who you trusted the most?. I don't need to explain because you know how it feel. Grounding myself as a simple guy, talking like a kid or joker to crack people up is the thing that I always do. Sometime they think I am crazy, and sometime they think I am like a 6 or 7 years old boy who speak useless thing. For the girl they say "your words are tasteless. Your speech does not go straight to the point, it is not what they want to hear." To please the people feeling to grab the girl's feeling is the thing that I'd say THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE" It seem like the people just forcing me to drink vinegar or forcing an elephant to eat bamboo tree. I used to tell myself that love can make drag you down, love can make you suffer but I can't, I can't, I can't put myself apart from love. As Mr. Bili P.S Lim the author of Dare to Fail said in his book " To have love is better than the one does not know how to love." It does not mean that I don't care about having love or just crazy around with love, but I just want use this chance when I have time to love someone to search for the right one who I could say "Yeah, She IS, Yeah That is SHE." I have been searching in everyone I have met, and I do believe that she must be someone here or there, but the time just not yet come.
In this recently, I have up set my brother feeling, I have make him disappoint about me. I knew he was up set, but I can't talk to him right now. You know what, every of us we were born with our unique dream. And I believe that they would do any way any tactic to achieve or to reach their dream. Sometime, I want to take away my dream, and I tell myself stop here Samnang, JUST STOP, I know you can't go anymore, you can't go any further, and I know your dream is very very far from you. Even this life or next life you won't have a chance to reach or to see it. But sometime, when my friend give me their advises give their strength to me it seems like I have taken a pill, it seems like I have refill the gasoline into my vehicle and it push forward my wheels. I have been read Mr.Billi's book two time and there must third time and fourth time. It may a useless book to somebody, but for me it really touch my heart, and it has given an energy to go on my life.
Before I leave you guy, let me apologize for my crazy piece of writing tonight. I must write it down in this blog because I can't hold it any more. I need to take it out, and pour it into you THEBABYTALK. You have been my best friend since the beginning, even now and forever. You guy may think I am a crazy, am the talk of the town like Mr. Bruno Mar has written in his song. Yeah you all correct, you are right, I am a crazy and I am the talk of the town. But I can't just hold it on. I need to excavate it, to dig it out and scatter it here.
I am 23 years now, and I don't know how long can I live in this world. I may die in the next five minutes, at the dawn, in the next three days, three months or next year. So I need to rush up, and set my trip to go straight toward my dream. You may wonder and raise up this question " What is your dream Samnang?" or some may say " What is the fuck of your dream? " My answer must be " I am sorry" I really can't tell you guy now. It may be a crazy dream, but in my life it is the dream of my life and I exist in this world to go for this dream. Bye for now!
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